It was logical
by KnuxZimRyoko15
Summary: Couple of short drabbles studying the relationship of Sarek and Amanda Grayson.
1. Chapter 1

It was beautiful.

For as logical a race as the Vulcans, they sure knew how to dress a bride. Turning around in front of the mirrors, Amanda couldn't help but think how much like a princess she looked. She smiled slightly to the Vulcan female attending her. "Oh T'Ared," she sighed happily. "It's the most beautiful dress I've ever seen."

The Vulcan merely nodded in acknowledgement. "As the wife to be of our most distinguished ambassador, it is logical that you be dressed this way, Lady Amanda." T'Ared allowed herself the ghost of a smile. "Your excitement over a simple wedding outfit would be considered amusing, my lady."

Amanda couldn't help but laugh. "For as long as I live, you Vulcans will confuse me." Turning towards the window of her father's house, she looked out one last time upon her beloved Los Angeles. A sharp twinge of sadness gripped her chest. "Um, I...I WILL be allowed to visit my parents, right?"

"Of course, my lady."

"Any---anytime I want?"

T'Ared raised an eyebrow. "Is my lady homesick already? We have not even left for Vulcan."

She sighed heavily, leaning against the window. "No, it's just...well I was born here, I got my degree here, everyone I love is here---"

"--Save for Ambassador Sarek, yes?"

Amanda rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."

T'Ared narrowed her eyes. "No, I'm afraid I do not, my lady. Forgive me, but this attatchment to Earth seems illogical for someone about to marry into our culture and move to Vulcan. Does this, perhaps, suggest that you wish NOT to marry Ambassador Sarek?"

"I love him." Amanda wiped away a tear that had escaped. "I love him, T'Ared. And I know he loves me, though Vulcans don't....well, they don't show it as often as I'd like."

T'Ared shook her head. "I'm afraid I don't understand you humans and your reliance on love."

She turned away, seeing herself in the mirror again. She looked alien now, foreign. "You wouldn't, T'Ared. You just wouldn't."


	2. Chapter 2

It had been explained to her at least four times now, but it still didn't compute.

Apparantly, the Vulcan marriage ceremony involved linking fingers, and nothing else. Sarek insisted that there was more to it, that the "linking of minds" was the most important ritual they'd ever experience as husband and wife, but seeing as she wasn't Vulcan Amanda just couldn't wrap her head around the idea. Telepathy was the stuff that other planets did, and Earth never got involved.

And yet, here she was, about to marry one.

More upsetting, however, was the fact her parents were not allowed to see the ceremony.

Her father had been the most vocal about this. "Amanda is our only daughter!", General Grayson had practically screamed in Sarek's face, "We are her parents! Why are we not allowed to see her wedding?!"

Sarek, in his unmovable Vulcan way, had been slightly sympathetic. "General, I do apologize, but the ancient Vulcan traditions have never been viewed by any outsiders and shall remain that way." He flicked his eyes to Amanda for a fraction of a second. "Amanda does not count as an outsider anymore, seeing as she is marrying into our culture."

"I never liked this arrangement," her father spat, holding her sobbing mother in his arms. "Our lovely daughter marrying a heartless Vulcan, never sat right with us. Now I like it even less." General Grayson pointed an accusing finger at the Vulcan ambassador. "Coming down here, lying to her, then whisking her away to marry on your planet and we'll never see her again, is THAT your idea of diplomacy!?"

Amanda made a motion to protest, but Sarek had gently taken her hand, silencing her, before frowning ever so slightly. "General Grayson, your protests do not go unnoted. It is unfortunate, however, as I do and always have intended to wed your daughter. And seeing as I hold her in nothing but the highest regards, your lack of approval is unfortunate but will not be heeded."

Amanda almost laughed at that, the thought of a Vulcan of all people being defiant, but it was, of course, 'logical' wasn't it?

"It is logical, Amanda," Sarek had said later that evening. "I do not understand the customs of Earth, but it is quite useless to deny that our coupling would be diplomatic between our planets." He gave her the ghost of a smile. "Besides, I think you'll like Vulcan. You always wanted an enourmous garden, and my ancestral home possesses such a thing."

She smiled slightly. "Now you're just trying to make me feel better." Gently placing her hand on his shoulder, Amanda stared out into the rising twilight. "Sarek, as stubborn as they are, my parents love me very much. Mom had always dreamed that my wedding would take place on the Golden Gate bridge." She laughed. "This is a shock to both parties."

Sarek raised an eyebrow. "It is a shock because you were intended to marry a human, and I a Vulcan." A simple, logical remark as always, but it still cut her. It was true. Her sudden pain must have shown on her face, because Sarek frowned slightly and ran a hand over her cheek. "If you think for one instant that I would prefer a Vulcan bride over you, you would be unfathomably wrong."

The long, boring flight to Vulcan passed incredible views of galaxies and worlds that swirled through the blackness of space, solar flares shooting from far off stars, but she only watched because earth had once been seen there. In the background, the all Vulcan crew talked quietly among themselves, glancing at her every so often with raised eyebrows. She confused their precious logic. That would've amused her, had her heart not been hundreds of lightyears away. Amanda didn't even notice when Sarek sat down next to her until his hand was already on her back.

"Speak, Amanda." His cold brown eyes bore into hers, the faintest trace of worry upon his face. "It is not normal for a bride to be in tears."

He saw her cry? Embarrassed, Amanda looked away. "It's just....all of this. I can't handle it. It's too much." She wiped her eyes. "I r-really wanted my parents to at least be there...I'm not---I'm not going to see them for a very long ti--" And then she was sobbing, leaning heavily against the Vulcan's shoulder, clinging to him as if he were her life support. The other Vulcans seemed disgusted at such an emotional outburst, and even Sarek seemed confused as to the source of her tears, choosing instead to gently rub her back.

"Come now, Amanda," He whispered in her ear. She clung tighter to him. Sarek hesitated, unsure of what to do. "I don't....I don't understand your grief, my dear. I'm sorry." He looked sorrowful for a second before pulling her to her feet. "I hope you'll find some measure of happiness with me...."


	3. Chapter 3

If he could embrace emotion, anxiety would be the one he would pick.

The cold insults and harsh looks of his comrades, Vulcans he had known for decades, and the sensation of their abandonment were difficult to meditate away, but it was necessary. Amanda, Sarek knew, could very easily run to the arms of another. That would be too much for his control.

Traditional marriage robes were just as heavy and uncomfortable as they had been with his first wife, and then as now Sarek shouldered it silently and stoically. The candles around the chamber flickered soothingly, casting shadows on his betrothed face.

Amanda.

She stood but two feet away from him, her light green eyes flicking around the room nervously. She didn't understand. How could she? It was illogical to assume a human would understand the intimate mind-melding that took place, the sharing of all parts of yourself, to be bound forever by an invisible, unbreakable bond that transcended time and space itself...

The Vulcan elder motioned for the couple to step towards the altar, Sarek never breaking eye contact with his bride the whole time. He studied Amanda, wanting to record how humans would react to such an event later. Would she sob? Earth women seemed prone to such emotional outbursts, so it seemed possible. Would she scream at the deluge of memories and sensations?

Amanda kneeled before the altar, white veneer dress falling gracefully around her slight frame, and Sarek felt his breath catch. A perfect example of earth's beauty sat before him. The control of emotions slipped for a second, and he felt overwhelming love for this lovely creature who said she loved him. The elder motioned again, meaning for their fingers to meet. Sarek quickly showed Amanda the correct gesture before their tips came together on the altar. Closing his eyes, Sarek let his mind wander and wrap around hers.

She stood, white graduation robe worn proudly as she recieved her degree, eyes streaming as friends and family hugged her......

Seven years old and her dog had died. She held the lifeless body, sobbing in her naive way as she didn't understand why Ranger wouldn't wake up....

The rush of embarrassment and attraction upon meeting Sarek, but surely he'd never feel for a Los Angeles girl like HER. But his ears were so CUTE.....

Heart-stopping grief at the news her brother had died in a car accident clenched Sarek's conciousness, threatening his control. Amanda had never let on to such pain, always speaking of said brother with the utmost fondness and love. But here, in her memories, the pain was still new, still fresh. They dressed him in his best suit for the funeral, the one he'd worn to the prom....

It was all there, the anger and heartbreak and dizzying highs of joy and love that filled humans, moved them, and in that instant Sarek knew that no amount of self-control could make him forget how it felt. Slowly, he retracted his mind from hers, eyes fluttering open. Amanda had, indeed, started crying, overwhelmed from the experience. To his disdain, he discovered that he, too, had shed a few tears, but he hadn't the heart to wipe them away.

Amanda was smiling at him.

Through her tears, she was smiling.

Illogical. Tears were human indications of sadness.

They stood, hands still touching, her slender fingers wrapping around his own. As the elder announced that they were now one, Sarek looked at his wife.

And he smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

He burned.

Oh how he had wished that more time would pass before this, but the ancient urges waited for no one, not even an ambassador. Sarek knew enough about humans to know that his new wife would not understand, would be frightened of it, of him. He wanted to control himself, to shut out this horrid time, but the flames rose higher, burning away logic.

He wanted her.

He NEEDED her.

Four months was not enough time for poor Amanda, who struggled enough to breathe the thin air, let alone comprehend a race more ancient than her own. And other worries arose, on top of everything else. Any child born from her would be half human, a creature whose anatomy was sufficiently different to raise alarming health problems. But Sarek could scarcely look at her without wanting her right then, right NOW.

So he'd pushed her away, violently yelling and ordering her to not return for three days. Her pained cries and heartbroken tears would soon be mended, but for now, she would have to stay away.

Pon Farr was upon him.

Svare, the elder physician, had been sympathetic enough to their cause, but he delivered the news that Sarek desperately didn't want to hear. "Such a coupling is impossible, Sarek. If the mating itself does not kill her, the copper in the child's blood surely will." The elder Vulcan shook his head. "Find a Vulcan female. This is madness."

"No!" Sarek's fist slammed into the stone table, leaving small cracks. "She is me and I am her and I WILL HAVE HER!" His blood boiled painfully, the fire rising to the surface. Gasping in agony, Sarek turned away from the elder. "F-Forgive my....my illogical outburst, I---"

"There is no need to apologize for the lack of logic during this time, Sarek. You know this." Svare closed his eyes, contemplating. "Sarek....it is folly, but perhaps if you were gentle....." He shook his head again. "No, this means almost certain death. I am sorry, Ambassador, but there is no good news to give."

He sat alone now, the quiet of his chamber bringing no peace. What was there to do? Sarek would have no other but his wife, but if he killed her, it would be disastrous. Devastating. The door creaked open, and he knew the quiet figure long before she reached his side.

"Sarek?" Amanda's voice was filled with worry, beautiful eyes red from crying. "Sarek, honey, please talk to me. What's wrong?"

It took all his will not to look at her. "Pon Farr," he said simply, bowing his head slightly. "The time of mating."

She tilted her head, not comprehending. "W-What?"

The world spun, a red haze falling over his eyes. "It....Every 7 years, my species, we---" Talking was almost too difficult to complete. All he could see was red....and HER. "We must take a m-- a mate, or we.....I will die."

It slowly dawned on Amanda, and she nodded, eyes widening. "....Oh. I--I see..."

He looked almost embarrassed. "I know this--this isn't how humans---"

"It's fine." She smiled weakly, placing a hand on his shoulder that jolted through him like a solar flare. "Sarek, why didn't you say so? I'd be more than willing to....well, you know." Amanda laughed slightly. "I'm your wife, aren't I?"

Sarek tried to tell her, tried to warn that she could almost certainly die, but the roar of his blood was too loud now. All logic, all reason, all thoughts but one had been pushed out, and Sarek lunged onto Amanda without a second thought. Her mind screamed in protest, echoing through his head even as her body struggled beneath him. But protests died away as their minds melted together, their bodies disappearing and leaving them naked to the universe, and to each other. The physical act was still happening, of course, but it wasn't the focus. It never had been. In the world their minds created, Sarek saw his wife bearing a son, healthy and unscathed. Amanda's mind moved through him, tender love breaking all barriers he'd fought so hard to build as a Vulcan. Past, present, and future came together, and he vaguely heard Amanda's voice moan his name, a whisper that electrified all parts of him. She saw his first wife, felt the pain of loss when she left him, the anger and frustrations of a son he'd fathered but never raised. Gently, she told him without words that she'd never leave, she couldn't leave, he'd never hurt again. All too soon thinking and feeling became impossible for either parties, with nothing but the roar of emotion and the rising tide left for them, ready to break.

And then suddenly a scream, a cry of release, as waves crashed through his head and slowly, ever so slowly, their minds returned to them. They fell together, arms wrapped tightly around waists, ragged breathing rising through chests. They were one, always had been. Sarek groggily wondered to himself if perhaps they'd known each other in a previous incarnation, if their souls had come together across time and space. For she fit him perfectly, his other half in every way.

Logic be damned. He loved her.


	5. Chapter 5

At first, the morning sickness hadn't been so bad.

Oh sure, the throwing up and the dizziness had been there. All the things her mother had warned her about. She'd ignored the pain, though, because damn it she was PREGNANT! Amanda had always been horrible at hiding her excitement, but she just wasn't TRYING with this. Sarek was almost embarrassed to be seen with his giggling wife, who fairly floated on air in excitement for the life to be. It confused the HELL out of the local Vulcans, who had to be respectful to the wife of an ambassador or face reprimands. It was totally, utterly, perfectly illogical, and Amanda LOVED it.

Then it got much worse.

Around month six, she fainted for the first time, waking up with a violent headache and the blood ringing in her ears. Sarek had suggested possible fatigue from her lack of eating (which was bull anyway, she ate as much as she could tolerate of the bland Vulcan food), but motherly instincts told her otherwise. When the fainting started becoming a regular thing, coupled with intense shivering and nausea, he insisted on her visiting the physicians. The prognosis was grim, very grim: Septicemia. Blood Poisoning. A sudden influx of copper to her system, which meant only one thing.

The baby was, indeed, Vulcan.

She wasn't deaf. She could hear the doctors talking quietly with Sarek, discussing the possible outcomes and their estimated chances of survival. All of them seemed to agree that both Amanda and the baby would die if they didn't abort the child immediately, which led to Sarek being the angriest she could remember seeing him, almost yelling at the poor doctors. But what could be done?, they argued. It was either lose the child, or lose both of them to death.

Amanda was a pitiful creature by month nine, confined to bed and hardly eating, too weak to do much of anything except be waited on by T'Ared. The female Vulcan had stuck with her through everything, and was the closest thing Amanda had to a friend on the godforsaken space rock. Currently, she was wiping the poor woman's face with a wet towel, attempting to lower the fever. "My lady should eat something," she said matter-of-factly, nodding towards the now cold plomeek soup. "If not for your own strength, for the child's."

"Not hungry." It was a lie, of course. She was starving. It was the Vulcan food that was the problem. Amanda desperately missed the comforts of home, fresh baked cookies and the smell of steak, or even a goddamn hamburger.

T'Ared gave her a look akin to annoyance. "The statistical chance of your surviving the birthing process is 240,600 to 1 as it is. Not eating stacks the odds even more against you." Amanda groaned inwardly. Don't say it don't say it--- "It is only logical."

Groaning loudly, Amanda tried to bury her face in the pillow. "T'Ared, if you say the word logical again, I'll die for SURE."

She got a raised eyebrow in response. "Lady Amanda, it is morally favorable to keep a person alive, especially one with child." For a small, brief second, Amanda could've sworn T'Ared looked worried. "It would greatly displease the Ambassador to lose you."

Sighing in defeat, Amanda accepted another spoonful of plomeek, wincing as the bland liquid slid down her throat. She laughed mirthlessly. "I should know better than to argue with a Vulcan by now."

T'Ared smiled slightly. "It is a losing battle, but you humans are stubborn."

It took a while to get used to the idea that her pregnancy would last a year and a half, as the 14th month rolled around. She was now officially in unfamiliar territory, as no human could really relate to such a long gestation. But of course, as Sarek was keen to remind her, that was no human in her belly. If she didn't know any better, she'd think he was overjoyed that his offspring was to be more Vulcan than human. He hid it well, in any case. The illness had stagnated, leaving her in about the same amount of pain, but at least she wasn't getting any worse. The doctors were calling it a miracle that she hadn't died, though they still held little hope of the baby surviving.

There were....other things that bothered her now. Strange, vivid dreams of faces and things that she'd never seen, of star ships and distant planets, and the strange hum of someone inside her mind. It frightened her beyond belief, but Sarek simply smiled. "It is natural, my dear," He said, taking her hand. "You are to give birth to a Vulcan, and we are by nature telepathic. It is not unusual for the children to see their own futures before birth erases it from their memories, and even less unusual for the mothers to feel them."

She wiped her eyes. "Sarek, I---I can't handle all of this. It's too alien." A sob almost broke free. "I just---I just wanna go home...."

Even though logically he knew that it was just the strain of her illness, that she was in pain and didn't know what she was saying, Sarek let himself look hurt by her confession. ".....You are homesick, then?"

Amanda's eyes widened. "No, Sarek, that's not what I meant---"

"Don't." He gave her a very pointedly expressionless look, locking himself away from her. "It's only logical, isn't it?"

She cried herself to sleep alone that night.

The 18th month finally came, and she was on 24 hour observation as her condition deteriorated. All hope of a natural birth flew right out the window. It would, as the doctors said, certainly kill her, the strain too great for her weakened body. Mercifully, when the contractions started and she let out a blood-curdling scream, they wasted no time in sedating her. The last thing she was aware of was Sarek's hand in her own, and his voice in her head that she would be alright.

When she woke up again, all medical personnel were staring in shock and awe. Groggy and confused, she attempted to move, speak, ANYTHING. But then she noticed the vaguely wiggling thing in her arms. Turning her head painfully, she felt the breath get kicked right out of her.

"It's a miracle....A totally illogical miracle...." The chief surgeon had almost let himself smile. "This is---This is beyond explaination...."

"He's beautiful." Amanda couldn't hold back the tears if she tried. Cradling the tiny thing in her arms, she kissed his forehead. "He's BEAUTIFUL, Sarek....L-Look at him, he's perfect...."

Sarek nodded, smiling in a blatant disregard for control. "We shall name him Spock."

She turned to look at him. "Spock?

Nodding slightly, he gently put a hand on the child's head. "It means miracle."


	6. Chapter 6

Spock's first trip to Earth occurred for his fifth birthday.

General and Harriet Grayson had insisted on seeing their young grandson at least once before he began his schooling and mental training. Amanda had to agree. It had been decided almost as soon as he was born that Spock was to be put upon to honor the Vulcan way of pure logic; this meant that giggling toddler in the seat next to her had only months to enjoy his childhood. It made her unbearably sad to think about, but Sarek continued to insist it was for the best. Vulcans needed such control, and Spock was no different.

As of now, her young son was pointing excitedly out the window as they past the tiny gaseous planets of Horsehead Nebulae, reknown for sparkling in the light of their triple suns. "Look mama, look!" Spock smiled up at her, brown eyes shining. "Pretty!"

Sarek gave a look of disapproval, but one withering glare from Amanda was enough to keep his tongue still. She scooped Spock onto her lap and grinned. "Yep, pretty! Maybe when you're older, you can go visit!"

"Why not now?" He pouted slightly. "I wanna go now!"

Amanda laughed. "Because Spock, we're going to mommy's planet. Remember what it's called?"

"Earth!"

Jesus, he was a smart kid. Was that a side effect of being Vulcan? She kissed his forehead. "Very good!" Spock beamed proudly before wriggling off her lap and running over to the large window to get a better look.

Sarek cleared his throat pointedly. "You should not encourage such outbursts---"

"Can it." His eyebrows shot up in surprise, but Amanda just scowled. "Sarek, he'll get his logic and his supressed emotions and stop being a little kid soon enough." Tears stung her eyes threateningly. "Let me enjoy this, ok? He looks so happy...."

Gently, Sarek touched his wife's face. "It is not out of lack of affection for you that I decided this. It is---"

Amanda glared. "Logical?"

"---Tradition." The sides of Sarek's mouth twitched down, indicating that she'd hurt him. "Amanda, why must you insist on not understanding? This is of utmost importance to my race."

She looked away. "He's half human too, you know." Those tears escaped slowly, and she wiped them away as soon as they appeared. "What, are you ashamed that he isn't pure?" Sarek opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and decided instead to rein in their son, who'd found the climate controls of the cabin.

It was answer enough for Amanda, and she didn't speak to Sarek for the rest of the journey.

Upon landing in Los Angeles, with what seemed to be half of Star Fleet out to meet them, Amanda's mood picked up considerably. She was HOME! It was Earth air, it was Earth people, it was things she'd missed like crazy for six years. Sarek noted her happiness with a very small, very sad frown. She HAD been homesick. Spock was curious, as usual, but very very nervous of the people and kept close to his mother, hiding behind her skirt.

A young liutenant walked up and bowed. "Ambassador Sarek, Lady Amanda, welcome to Los Angeles." Amanda noted that he couldn't be more than 24. A Liutenant already? She couldn't hide how impressed she was. He smiled. "I am Liutenant Kirk. I was assigned to guide you to your waiting party."

Sarek nodded slightly. "Of course. Lead the way."

Along the way, Amanda struck up a conversation with the young officer, asking in amazement how he managed to advance so quickly. The boy was modest, even though it was obvious that it was just him being talented.

"I was only promoted a month ago, actually," the young George Kirk said with an embarrassed smile. "The USS Kelvin leaves for Regulus 5 in two days, and it's my first real trip off the planet. I'm a little nervous."

Sarek raised an eyebrow. "The Regulus system is not known for being hostile."

George nodded slightly. "Right, but I'm taking my pregnant wife along, and a LOT can go wrong in space..."

----

----

Her parents still hated Sarek, but Spock was an instant hit.

After Amanda had explained to him who exactly the smiling elderly couple was, Spock ran headlong into Grandma's arms, giggling. Her mother adored him right off the bat, exclaiming over and over again how gorgeous his eyes were. Her dad offered him candy, to which Sarek protested immediately, cooly stating that as a vegetarian, Spock wouldn't be able to handle chocolate.

Amanda knew better, of course.

Sarek detested this whole scene.

"Spock honey, why don't you go outside and play?" Harriet Grayson ruffled the little Vulcan's hair slightly. "We have a swing set and a sandbox if you want--"

Spock looked up curiously. "What's a swingset, grandmother?"

General Grayson shot a glare at Sarek, who was just as unreadable as ever. "It's a.....well....come with me, I'll show you." He took Spock's hand, who refused to put down the cookie given to him by grandma, and walked out towards the backyard, with grandpa singing a very old earth tune. "Bah bah black sheep, have you any wool?....."

Sarek cleared his throat again, wordlessly summoning Amanda to follow him. She sighed, giving her mom a "help me" look before retreating into the other room. "Ok, Sarek, I know you don't approve of all this, but it's how human families work---"

"He is NOT human." His eyes narrowed to mere slits. "Therefor, logically, he should be treated in a manner more suited to his species."

Most people, Vulcan or otherwise, would be intimidated. Amanda, much to Sarek's dismay, wasn't one of them. "Where do you get off talking like that, Sarek?! You're asking my parents not to love him, is that it?!" She crossed her arms angrily. "What's so wrong with being human, hmm? Tell me exactly what's wrong with being human."

"Humans, it seems, do not have the mental capacity for total restraint of one's self, leaving them victim to illogical emotions and actions."

Amanda clenched her fists shakily. "On the contrary, I'm showing GREAT restraint at the moment."

That statement didn't compute for a second, but when Sarek got it, his eyes widened slightly. "Amanda, I did not mean that as an insult, I was simply stating fact---"

"Of COURSE you were." Amanda's eyes darkened dangerously, barely concealing her anger. "You always do. It's all facts with you, even when you know it'll hurt someone."

Sarek reached for her, but she pulled away. "Amanda, be reasonable---"

"Why did you marry me, Sarek?" The pain in her voice was razor sharp, cutting him visibly. She was too angry to cry. "You knew that I wouldn't be this perfect logical being. You knew that our son would be half human. You KNEW all this, and you did it anyway. And NOW it's a problem?" Her voice wobbled a bit. "So why?"

For the first time, Sarek looked unsure of what to say. Drawing in a heavy breath, he touched her shoulder gently. "It was logical."

The sharp impact of the slap rang through the empty room, unbearably loud to both parties. Sarek held his face in something that resembled surprise as Amanda, crying, ran from the room.


	7. Chapter 7

Human females, upon close observation, were very complex creatures.

Sarek had come to the very logical conclusion that if such a thing as a perfect opposite to a Vulcan existed, a human female would be it. They seemed totally driven by emotions and talking about how they feel at all times.

Another conclusion he'd come to is that upsetting Amanda equaled pain.

And was she ever upset with him. Livid. What was the reason? Him, of course. They fought more about his actions and Vulcan ways than any other topic, and really, it was becoming tiresome. He was not willing to abandon logic for her, and she wasn't willing to reign in her irrational human emotions for him. There was to be no middle ground.

"You know, most people respond to 'I love you' in a POSITIVE way, Sarek." There was an earth saying he'd learned from his time around her: IF LOOKS COULD KILL. His wife was glaring in a most unpleasing manner, hands firmly placed on hips (human body language was particularly interesting to him). "Spock was DEVASTATED by your coldness. He's your son for god's sake!"

He narrowed his eyes. "Amanda, the earlier he learns that such emotional outbursts are not permitted, the---"

She pointed accusingly at him. "Don't. Don't you DARE."

"Such admissions of love are illogical, Amanda. At least for Vulcans." Sarek studied her face. Fascinating, all the combinations of emotions in one place. Anger, hurt, sadness, and some unnamed feeling he couldn't place. "There is no reason to vocalize affection for us. It is, simply put, a waste of breathe."

"I hate you." His impressive Vulcan control was knocked away, and Sarek felt his heart break. Amanda wiped her eyes angrily. "And since it's a waste of breath to convince me otherwise, I know you hate me too. So you won't feel anything if I decide to leave, will you?!"

It took all his will to keep the tears away. "Amanda, I----"

A pair of brown eyes stared from the doorway, face red from the tears and the shame of crying. "Father?" Both of them turned to face the little Vulcan, who looked at his feet. "Father, I---I apologize for my....." Spock wiped his eyes with his tiny fists, looking so small and ashamed that Sarek knew, logically, he couldn't deny him forgiveness.

He nodded. "All is forgiven, Spock. But let this be a lesson, my son. Think with your logic, not with your heart. Remember that."

Amanda gave him one last angry look before storming out, her emotions controlling her once more. Spock watched her go, confused. "Is something wrong with mother?"

"No my son." Sarek winced ever so slightly. "She is merely human."

---

---

He found her on the balcony, crying brokenheartedly in the emerging twilight.

"Amanda?" She flinched visibly, turning away from him even more. Sarek sighed. "My wife, look at me."

She made no effort to do so. "What for?"

He strode over to her, grabbing her hand. "Amanda, please look at me." Amanda complied, her face to him slowly. Her face was stained with tears, and Sarek logically decided they did not suit her, wiping them away. "I would prefer if we ceased our quarreling." He looked down, allowing himself to feel ashamed. "I forget just how different we are sometimes."

Amanda nodded slightly. "I'm always going to have emotions, Sarek. And I'm always going to show them, especially towards Spock." She sighed heavily. "Do not fault me for loving him."

"I am...." How sad she looked in the dying sun! It was truly remarkable how quickly humans changed their emotions, and how subtley too. Sarek cupped her face gently. "I am sorry. I still do not understand humans, or how to avoid hurting them."

She gave him the ghost of a smile. "Careful, Sarek. Someone would think you're actually showing affection." Sarcasm, another human trait that baffled him. Nevertheless, her hands reached up and joined with his, and she smiled wider."Well.....I think I could forgive you."

Sarek knitted his brow slightly. "And you will not leave?"

Amanda's eyes widened. "Oh Sarek...." Her lips found his in a common human sign of affection. "Sarek I didn't mean that, I was just upset, I---- Oh, I'm so sorry for frightening you---"

"Fear is illogical." She didn't buy it, giving him an incredulous look. Sarek felt his cheeks grow hot. "All the same, it was...distressing."

Laughter. He did not understand it more than any other human action. Amanda's laugh was airy, quiet, and heartfelt as she kissed him again. "Don't worry, I won't leave."

Their fingers came together, the bond they shared opening up, and Sarek made sure that his love for her got through.

It was illogical to state it out loud.


End file.
